Merry Christmas
Written on Thursday, December 25, 2008 12:40 AM
It's Christmas now..and I'm so alone.. Dunno why he chose this day for his "alone time"..
I know some guys are like that, need time to be alone.. my ex did..
but I can't help my self to think.. if he actually avoiding me or something.. I am really afraid.. abisnya aq sering banget digituin.. tiba2 aq dijauhin.. pdhl aq ngga tau apa salahku.. boro2 sama cowo yg aq suka, kadang ama temen atau koko angkatku, aq juga digituin. Am I really that ugly?
If that so, do I really deserve that kind of treatment from others?
It doesn't mean I want everybody to feel sorry about me..
but can't u guys see me as I am? as Yuki?
not as a fat and ugly girl.. not as a dying girl..
but as me...
some of you said "yuki, you're comfortable to talk with" before met me for real..
but after u see me... where are u now?
u changed... the way u talk to me even changed... WHY?! I didn't do sumthing wrong...
Is it wrong for me to love someone?
Is it a tragedy for u... to be loved by me?
if yes, then sorry...
I am just an ordinary girl...
I have feelings...
I can be hurt... I can cry...
Maybe u see me strong... but the fact is I am fragile..
It's Christmas..
But I feel so so lonely..
Seeing people around me are in love mode just make my loneliness more worse..
When will good luck and happiness come and hug me?
I can't stand it anymore..
Did all I do now are unusefull?
if there's nothing I can do to change my future..
if it already a dead end.. why don't You take my life just now...?
Why do I have to suffer like this?
No matter what I do... No matter how hard I struggle...
Nothing will change...